Judging A Book By Its Cover

You walk into a bookstore. You spot a book. You must have it immediately. This book is speaking to you. It breathes, “Read me.” And of course it does.  It’s purple and shiny and there's a giant unicorn eating spaghetti on the cover, and its called, "Get Your Pasta On."

How many times have you picked up a book that is entirely not what you thought it was going to be about? This little game can be quite exciting. Although, it can also turn disastrous. It's hard not to have expectations when that Arial Black is screaming out to you from the depths of the boring Garamonds and Helveticas. 

My point being--we always can't help having expectations. So. I’m going to do what everybody in our lives has told us not to do. I’m going to judge some popular books by their covers… and see how accurate I am.

Or do. 

The Fault in Our Stars

by John Green

I don't know about you, but when I hear "fault" these days, I think earthquake. Yep, this story must take place along the San Andreas Fault. The cover doesn’t give away much. Blue background. White cloud. Black cloud. It's probably a love story about star-crossed lovers, separated by the devastation of an earthquake. Or maybe, they die in said earthquake and end up in two separate heavens, because of their religions. They eventually have to master cloud bending, an ancient art of manipulating pre-precipated water to resemble fun creatures, like meerkats. 

Whoever bends the best cloud can gain access to other heavens, and also gets assigned a designated cloud animal, who transports them. Riding around on cloud platypuses may seem fun, but this couple won't stop until they are re-united, building their own heaven.

What it's really about: Well actually, I wasn't too far off. Okay it takes place in Indiana... But it IS a love story. And I think one of them probably dies. 

The Goldfinch 

by Donna Tartt

Since the cover is a little bird peaking out of a page in a book, I can only assume that "goldfinch" here refers to a member of the avian species, and not an Austin Powers nemesis, which was what first came to mind for some reason.

Okay so here goes: a girl discovers a very strange and magical book. When she reads this book, a little goldfinch flies out and begins to predict the terrible futures of her and her family members.  The plot gets dramatic when the main character's little brother, Beevo, kills the goldfinch with his slingshot. Not only do the bird's predictions come true, but also, a bunch of bird ghosts haunt the family forever. The story ends when a bunch of ghost lions chase the birds away, and the main character and her brother throw the cursed book in a river... which only gets carried away until someone else from a distance land discovers it.

I know the author's name should have nothing to do with it, but at one point in the story, I imagine the goldfinch eating some tart yogurt and loving it. 

What it's really about: So it's about a painting of a goldfinch. But everyone I talk to can't really seem to tell me what it's about exactly. It's seems to be the mysterious adventures a boy who survived (but was left orphaned by) a museum bombing, taking with him a ring from a dying old man and a famous painting. So... I was close. 

A Game Of Thrones 

by that guy who wrote them and is still writing them

Upon first hearing the title, I assumed this saga was about a bunch of meddling kids who come across an enchanted board game and are forced to play musical chairs until one of them cheats and turns into a monkey.    ...I may have seen Jumanji too many times. 

Then there are the covers. There's a sword, there's a crown, a battle helmet, a lion, etc... And then there's the new cover with a throne made out of swords. Thus, I can only assume that this means there will be a lot of struggling for power, an evil child ruler, a lady who always seems to be losing her dragons, a female disguised as a male, and possibly an albino who nurses someone back to health only to kill them?

What it's really about: Ok so. Though I’ve never read the books, I am familiar with the “internet.”

Gone Girl 

Gillian Flynn

First thoughts on the title -- Has anyone seen Runaway Bride with Julia Roberts?

Although... the cover seems rather dark and ominous. What is that coming out of the left side? Is that hair? Is it a tree? Maybe a bunch of  wheat?

I'm going to go with murder story. Wait a minute? Is this the sequel to Gone Baby Gone? It would make sense. The baby can't be a baby forever. It's grown into a girl. It's unfortunate how often she gets kidnapped though. And in the end, the scene culminates in a dramatic stand-off with Casey Afflect in a wheat field. 

Well whoever this girl is, she is most likely badass. I can tell by the hot pink font. 

What it's really about: You'll have to wait til Kaley's review next week to find out.

The truth is--certain titles suggest certain things to everybody, depending on their experiences. We can't always help having certain expectations or preconceived notions, especially when a book gains widespread attention. 

The only thing we can do is pick it up and give it a chance. 

Want the Lone Book Club to guess what your book is about? Post the title in the comments! (Personally, I think someone should write a story about cloud bending).