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Wednesday, September 3, 2014

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The Best Day of the Week to Read a Book

Could there quite possibly be a best day of the week to read?

For those of us who have busy schedules or just can’t quite find the right time to read, here’s a breakdown of the best times to read, in our opinion. 

Monday is absolutely, hands down the BEST day of the week to read. As the official “fresh-start” day of the week, Monday allows us to set the precedent for the rest of the week. If you don’t read on Monday, you might as well give up on reading, because Monday gives you that extra spring in your step to start new things like no other day. Unless, of course, you had a very eventful weekend… in which case, you are probably dead tired. So you should get some rest, give those eyes a break, and consider Tuesday the new Monday. 

Ah Tuesday—quite easily the perfect day to read. Because Tuesday is rather boring. It can never be as exciting and new as Monday, and it’s nowhere near the weekend, which often provides distractions. Stress is low because you haven't messed up at work too badly yet. But alas, you were too tired to go grocery shopping on Monday. It’s taco night, after all. So don’t forget to make a quick trip there after work. And the post office. Oh, and your cat has that appointment at the vet. And you need more thumb tacks. Well now, you can’t possibly justify dropping everything to read when you have all these errands to run. But don’t worry, you still have the whole week ahead of you.

Wednesday is the optimal day of the week to get your book on. It’s the middle of the week, and nothing is happening. You even have time to go to the gym before catching your favorite television show and still have time to read! So settle down on your couch, check your email real quick, sort through the coupons, skim the headlines, and—wow. You can’t believe how much is actually going on in the world on a mere Wednesday. How is it already Wednesday and you're only just now reading the news? Now that you think about it, of course there’s a lot going on. It’s hump day—the proverbial peak of the week, and you and everyone else has already climbed up the hard side of the hill. Click on interesting headlines, watch corresponding YouTube videos, and educate yourself. This isn’t exactly reading your book, but it’s reading, so it counts, right? The rest of the week is a downhill ride, so there’s still plenty of time.

Thursday is definitely the best day of the week to read. You’ve already stared the morning off right (your neighbor got her car stuck in the shared driveway and you helped her maneuver). You’re a great person. You deserve a nice time to read. Pitch a hammock and schluff off some work. You’ve done enough this week. It’s okay if you accidentally fall asleep for a bit. When you wake up, you'll feel an exciting buzz in the air that you can’t quite ignore. The Friday jitters have come early. And of course they have. Tomorrow’s Friday for crying out loud! How exciting! Remember you signed up for those salsa dance lessons on Thursdays? You can skip this week if you want. The kids need help with their homework. Apparently, you have kids. And if you don’t, you promised your boyfriend you’d re-watch the entire series of Lost with him. Who are you kidding? You didn’t need to promise. You love Lost. This is way better than reading.

Friday is, by far, the finest day to read. It's the day you get to blow off steam from the workweek, and what better way to do that than with a little light reading? Never mind that your head is spinning. Those other weekdays tend to have that affect on people. Ok maybe a glass of wine will help you settle into the night. But that’s not strong enough to wipe away the humiliation of your failed presentation earlier today. Wait a minute. Whiskey ought to do it. Yep, Friday night is the time to blow off steam. Sorry, but you can’t possible ever read a book on a Friday.

Saturday is your DAY. You can do whatever you please, which makes Saturday a superlative day for reading. But for God’s sake, sleep in a little. You’ve just drunk an entire bottle of whiskey. Treat yourself to some salty sensation at your favorite brunch spot. Sure, you have plenty of things to do, but bring your book with you. You never know when that perfect time to read will strike. There’s time. You can’t just not take your dog to the dog park. Saturday is her day, after all, and you need to constantly pay attention to make sure she doesn’t eat anyone else’s Chihuahua. Also, it’s your mom’s birthday dinner tonight; so don’t forget to show up with a bunt cake and a bundle of daisies. You can go shopping for her present sometime next week. She’ll understand. Okay, maybe just a quick trip to Macy’s beforehand. And make sure you give yourself enough time to get ready. If it weren’t your mom’s birthday, you’d be going on a fancy date with the boyfriend. It’s Saturday, after all. Nobody reads on a Saturday.

Ah, finally. When it comes to the greatest day of the week for reading, Sunday is positively unparalleled. There’s something so calming about a Sunday. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that God himself declared it a day of rest. But first, you should go to the Farmer’s Market before it closes. Enjoy the fresh air. Bring you kids to the zoo. Take your time. It’s Sunday. And don’t feel guilty about those other things on your to-do list, like that home improvement project. Save that for a 3-day weekend. Just make sure to at least do your laundry. You’ll want to have something to wear for the week. There’s a sports game on in the late afternoon, but you can always read during the commercials. But ESPN has the best commercials. And ah, Sunday night. You deserve a home cooked meal. The chicken you bought on Tuesday is going to go bad if you don’t use it. Take your time. It’s Sunday. Just make sure to go to sleep early. You’ll want to make sure to get a fresh start to the week, because Monday is hands-down, the absolute BEST day to read.

In conclusion, the best day of the week to read is, indeed, no day.
Or perhaps the best day of the week to read is, in fact, every day, when the mundane atrocities of life begin to consume us; because that's when we most need an escape--not just form our lives, but from the entire world we live in. And it's those who realize that reading is necessity, not a chore, who get the most out of it. As the great French novelist, Gustave Flaubert, once said:
“Do not read, as children do, to amuse yourself, or like the ambitious, for the purpose of instruction. No, read in order to live."
Sure, it's hard to start something new. That goes for everything. But when the constant ticking of our mind ceases to put us at ease, reading actually transports us into a state where we don't even exist. And what better way to shut down your mind and give it a break than by ceasing to exist for a few hours? 

So if you struggle with picking up your book, we at the Lone Book Club suggest you go back to the books that made you love reading in the first place. Re-read them. There's nothing wrong with reading a book a hundred times. If you don't like the book you're currently reading, put it down and pick up another one. Motivation to read is like motivation for anything. You have to remind yourself why it's important, and then will the motivation come, a lot of times, effortlessly. 

Every day is hands-down, the absolute BEST day to read.

What's your favorite day of the week to read? Be sure to comment below!

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